December 1, 2013, 6:30 am
I was very interested when the lovely Leah tweeted about her idea for a new blogger challenge relating to body positivity and immediately signed up. The first assignment is: I'd like you to write a letter to your body, acknowledging the things you've been through together. For example: What accidents and illnesses have you had? Do you have scars or tattoos? Have you been operated on? What have you been through in your body, good and bad? What highs and lows have there been? Does your body make you feel happy, sad, disappointed? Do you feel at one with your body or is it the enemy? What parts do you like and dislike? What parts do you want to work on being happier with? These are just suggestions. Make your post your own and feel free to add photos, art, a poem, or any other creative endeavour.Now, I'm in two minds about this. It's either going to be fairly easy or incredibly difficult! Dear body...I certainly like you a lot more than I used to, but I'm not sure that I can say I love every part of you just yet; I'm getting there, one step at a time. We've been through a lot together and there have been some difficult times, mostly when I haven't loved you or taken care of you because the opinions of others have made me feel that I should't do so. This is mostly due to bullying, which will probably take up a fair bit of this letter...
I guess I should start from the beginning. I've always been fat, or at least 'chubby', and I've always been tall (well, more like average now) and had big feet (again, it's now more common for people to have feet my size). My earliest memories of body dissatisfaction are from Primary School (age 10-11, at a guess), when I was ridiculed for not wearing a bra. In hindsight I didn't really need one (though felt that I did because of peer pressure and wanting to be 'normal'), which was confirmed with even more humiliation when I went to Contessa and heard the Sales Assistant saying to my Mother that I didn't really need a bra. Also in Primary School, some of the girls started talking about periods; there was one girl in particular that asked everyone somewhat private questions that she actually had no right to ask, but at that age you are not really empowered to challenge such a thing (in my opinion). Again, others had started their periods and I hadn't (which I should've been thankful for, really). Last but not least, the early experiences of getting changed for PE without being separated from the boys were incredibly humiliating. Last but not least, I had already started to be bullied in Primary School, though I can't recall why; although I do remember being told by someone that somebody had called me a 'fat cow' and I responded by calling her a 'skinny runt'...fighting body shaming with body shaming, as you do until you grow up and learn better.
Secondary School was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life and when I hated my body the most (looks like I've stopped writing to my body...bear with me, it's strange to write!). I was bullied for my turned-up nose (Miss Piggy, I was called), thick hair (Macy Gray) and weight (Kelly Osbourne, which I think was a weight/hair combo), as well as my intelligence. I was probably around a size 20, dropping down to a 16-18 by the end of school. Around the age of 14 I had a long-term and long-distance relationship with a lad who was 5 years older than me and (at the time) incredibly attractive, which then became another point of bullying through jealousy; I don't think people could bear the thought of anyone being attracted to a fat girl. I left compulsory education and attempted college, but the bullies followed. Living in a town where you're more likely than not to see someone you know on every road, it was somewhat inevitable. Not long after that, due to circumstances outside of my control, I moved away. Asides from an infrequent jibe in the streets, the bullying stopped. For some time there wasn't a great deal to report, asides from the general feeling of being unattractive.
Fast forward to 2008, when I started modelling. I began to learn to love my body through the lens and, oddly, other people's perceptions of my beauty. I was, and still am, very proud to be an artistic nude model; it's not what I started off doing, but is predominately what I have done for the past few years given the increased interest in the artistic realm of body diversity. (NB: Some of you may have seen my work via my blog, which has now been removed as I made the personal decision not to amalgamate the two, knowing that some people would not wish to see it and also I did not want introducing my blog to automatically be introducing myself as an artistic nude model; if you are particularly interested in seeing my work, leave your e-mail address or another contact method and I will pass the details on to you).
Fast forward again to September 2011, when I moved to London and started university. I'd already started to become more interested in fashion and my appearance and had also started to believe that what I look like doesn't matter so much, friendship isn't based on looks and maybe love isn't either. In May 2012 I started attending Big Girls Paradise with my best friend, Lauren; despite its criticisms (which are irrelevant to this post), these events are at least partly responsible for taking my body acceptance journey to the next level and sparked my feelings/belief of being attractive and fat. It wasn't long after that, in June 2012, that I started blogging and opened myself up to the body positive awesomeness that is the fatosphere; I must've been living in ignorance to not realise that there are people out there who look like me and are struggling or have struggled with the same things.
So, body, you can put the majority of my current goodwill towards you down to blogging and networking. There may be parts of you that I still detest, such as the ever-so-irritating facial hair, but in general I at least like the vast majority of you. I like being cute and squishy, I no longer hate my small breasts and maybe I even like them a little bit, that turned-up nose isn't really pig-like anymore (and even if it was, you got it from Mother and should be thankful for it) and that thick hair is a blessing, even if I have to drag a comb through it like a rake. You have made me very happy by sending the acne packing, although I wish you'd do the same to the current breakout! Both my body and I have a lot to be thankful for and I hope there will be more to come. Perhaps Love EVERY Body will help me to love my body in its entirety.
You can find links to the other bloggers taking part at the bottom of Leah's post, here.
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December 2, 2013, 12:42 pm
Disclaimer: The views and wording of this post are my own (Big Fat Betty) and are not a verbatim account of the event, nor intended as a representation of the views of others; however, I have tried to recall and replicate the specific wording used by the panelists to some extent, but have only used quotation marks when I am certain that it is a direct quote. Should you have any concerns over the contents of this post please feel free to e-mail me at info@bigfatbetty.com.
Image ©Raquel Van Nice (Rubenesque Burlesque) | On Tuesday 19 November I attended the Fat Sexualities talk organised by Gender and Sexuality Talks (London), having responded to their search for a blogger to cover the event the organisers very kindly gave me a complimentary ticket (though I can honestly say that I would have attended regardless, being very interested in the topic and intrigued about what would be covered). Gender and Sexuality Talks is a non-profit organisation which aims to bring together academics, professionals and the public 'to provide a forum in which to broaden minds, educate and critically debate emerging and recurring issues related to gender and sexuality throughout wider society' (Gender and Sexuality Talks, 2013).
The panel consisted of Dr Charlotte Cooper, Bethany Rutter (of Arched Eyebrow and DOMO), Ingo Cando (of Wotever World) and Dr Caroline Walters; it certainly provided an interesting mix and a wealth of knowledge and experience. I also felt comfortable with the panel and that I could relate to them in some way, even before they spoke, and I'm honestly not sure why. Perhaps it was to do with the nature of the event and the physicality of the panel, or maybe it was their mannerisms, I am not sure; but it was certainly different to, say, an academic seminar. I felt en par with the panel in some way and part of the event as a whole, although I didn't participate in open discussion I felt that I could and would have felt comfortable in doing so. The event operated under the Chatham House Rule, meaning that participants could not be identified (with the exception of the panel members); whilst I have no issue with being identified, I can completely understand that others may not wish to be and think that operating under these rules goes a long way towards promoting a safe and accepting environment where participants can speak openly without fear of reprisal at a later date.
The Panel Discussion
The panel discussion was started by Dr Charlotte Cooper, who explained her understanding of fat sexualities by reflecting on her own experiences. The frankness and openness of her approach really appealed to me and gave me the opportunity not only to relate to some of the experiences that she expressed, but also to gain a better understanding of the experiences of others and highlighting that fat sexuality is not homogeneous (ergo sexualities). Dr Cooper also discussed other important points such as the domination of fat discourse by health (issues) and the difficulty of accessing resources and support for those not 'in the know'.
Ingo Cando discussed the lack of positive imagery for fat people, particularly in relation to sex and sexuality and, more specifically, pornography. She shared her experiences of supporting women to create their own pornography and I recall being particularly struck by part of a quote from one of the participants; 'I see what they see and I look beautiful'. This resonated with me, as someone who has been (and somewhat still is) on a journey to discover their beauty; it's something you have to see for yourself and, whilst pornography (or indeed creating your own) may not be everyone's cup of tea, it's one of many methods which can achieve that goal.
Bethany shared her experiences of her earlier years as an undesirable, unfuckable teenager (this is certainly how I felt as a teenager and even in early adulthood; in fact, pretty much all of my life until a couple of years ago), with no choice and no active role in her sexuality. She also discussed the difficulty of unlearning harmful and negative messages and society's portrayal of fat women as monstrous, desperate, disgusting and embarrassing to be attracted to/have sex with. Bethany has found that non-monogamy has been useful and empowering for her and that she now finds rejection less of an issue since she has debunked the mythical link between rejection and being fat.
Last but not least, I really enjoyed hearing about Dr Caroline Walters' studies and her current project, an edited book on fat sexualitues. She also highlighted the issues that she has experienced since losing weight, including the presumption of others that she is no longer able to research issues relating to (being) fat because of this. It reminded me of my recent blog post, 'Absence Makes...', and my own fears of judgement on the basis of weight loss. I await the release of the book with eager anticipation.
Question & Answer Session
I must admit that this was quite difficult to follow from a blogging perspective, but I shall do my best! Gender and Sexuality Talks (London) trialled a new Q&A system at the event, utilising post-it notes; I thought this was a great idea as it gave further anonymity and another option to those not comfortable with speaking for whatever reason, it seemed to work well. I racked my brains for a question myself and alas couldn't think of anything, but there was also the opportunity to directly ask questions during the session in addition to the post-it method. Here are a couple of the Q&A's that I managed to note down in full (or near enough)...
Are BBW and associated fetish scenes also a form of empowerment? Dr Cooper responded that yes, they are, and many participators become radicalised. It is an accessable environment where participants are able to experience their sexuality. Dr Walters highlighted the contributions to visual representations that have come from the scene.
How do you get started in fat activism? There is an assumption that there are a lot of groups out there waiting for new members, but there aren't. Fat activism is irregular, often ambiguious and experienced in micro moments (such as a conversation, wearing something, eating ice cream in public). Basically, the answer is to do something...!
There were many other Q&A's and discussions including questions relating to race, gender identities and sexual preference. I felt that this part of the event inparticular was very well balanced in terms of the variety of questions and responses.
I hope that this post is useful and interesting to those that didn't attend, and equally that those who did find it to be an accurate view. I must say from a personal point of view in terms of blog coverage, I will strongly be considering taking a recording device to future events in which it would be permitted, as there is so much more I wanted to share with you all but my notes are somewhat minimal on these points. Lesson learnt and I had an enjoyable evening!
I'd also like to take this opportunity to congratulate Gender and Sexuality Talks (London) on a successful, thought provoking event. There next event is 'Human Rights, Labour Rights and Sex Work' on Wednesday 29 January 2014. Tickets can be purchased here.
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December 5, 2013, 6:46 am
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Hello lovelies! This challenge is 'Emulate Another Blogger's Style' and was chosen by Rebecca (of The Plus Side of Me) who wrote: "I know it's best sometimes to keep things simple, but I've recently been thinking about how fun it would be to emulate another blogger's style that is very much so out of our comfort zone. It could be a blogger within or outside of the the OMCZ group, but I know there are plenty of bloggers out there whose style I love but have not dared to wear."
This sounded very exciting to me, but also a big challenge! I struggled to think of a blogger who's style would be outside of my comfort zone but also that I could do justice to (and find things for in my wardrobe, of course); I couldn't, so I decided to focus more on bloggers whose style I admire and that differs to my own. I had a few ideas and chose to emulate Sarah of Sarah Smiles. Sarah is a true retro beauty and, not having the latest fashions to hand, I decided to focus more on her hair and make-up style than fashion.
Images © Big Fat Betty (Left) and Sarah Smiles (Right) | Sarah's hair is always so perfect! Mine isn't quite as glamorous, but for my first attempt at victory rolls I'm quite impressed (I google'd for a tutorial, there are loads of them!). I used my Soap & Glory eyeliner pen and MUA lipstick (Shade #1) to complete the look.
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Images © Big Fat Betty (Left & Right) and Sarah Smiles (Middle) | I'm still chuckling at how I've inadvertantly copied Sarah's pose! Unfortunately I didn't have my photography assistant (AKA the flatmate) or my mini tripod to hand and thus the photographs aren't that great I'm afraid. In hindsignt, I was in a bit of a rush and should've accessorised; just a wide waist belt would've finished off this look perfectly. I (almost) always wear a cardigan and tights (or leggings) and not doing so was definately outside of my comfort zone; I think I'd consider showing a bit more skin more often if it wasn't for the weather! The dress is from Dorothy Perkins a good few years ago and the shoes are the Wide Fit Black Suedette Low Wedges from New Look (£14.99, sizes 3-8). I'll definately be doing Sarah's hair and make-up look again but I don't think this dress was the right choice.
Don't forget to check out the rest of the OMCZ crew:Stephanie - http://www.seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.ukLeah - http://www.justmeleah.blogspot.co.ukMary - http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.ptBecky - http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.comRachel - http://www.adressisforlife.comNatalie - http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.ukNikki - http://www.nattynikki.blogspot.co.ukRebs - http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.ukVerena - http://aplussizefashionobsession.blogspot.deBeka - http://bekasstuffystuff.blogspot.comRebecca - http://theplussideofme.comHollie - http://www.prettybigbutterflies.comSabina - http://www.femmefatalexsabina.blogspot.deMookie - http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.ukErin - http://erinslittlebigcorner.blogspot.co.ukDebz - http://www.wannabeprincess.co.uk
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December 8, 2013, 12:11 pm
If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed that I've been looking to do feature posts on fellow fatties; small businesses, models, artists, etc. Julie from The Fat Girls Guide to Running got in touch and asked if I'd be interested in doing a feature on One Big Fat Run; I said yes, of course!
What is One Big Fat Run (OBFR)? The title says it all really; fat people, running, together (virtually or otherwise)! The first OBFR took place on Sunday 25 August 2013, with over 100 participants worldwide and is now a monthly event. Julie's dream is to get one million fat people participating in the virtual collective, which brings both physical and mental health benefits. Julie started running in 2005 and you can read the story behind The Fat Girls Guide to Running here, it's a great source of inspiration. Her website is written in a very down to earth and approachable way, but also contains lots of useful information such as How to Run (for beginners) and suggestions for those running essentials.
If you'd like to take part in the OBFR Xmas Special and future events, you can sign up via Facebook.Website: http://www.thefatgirlsguidetorunning.comTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/fattymustrun
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheFatGirlsGuidetoRunning
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December 18, 2013, 10:00 am
Hi folks! This challenge is 'Work Wear' and was chosen by Hollie (of Pretty Big Butterflies) who wrote:'Work wear is so boring and I have to spend 9 hours a day in an office! Show me how to spice up work wear in whatever way you can. I want to look smart / casual but still fashionable! It's so easy to hide behind a desk but I want to walk through the office in style. Come on ladies, show me your sexy secretary look or your quirky call centre attire! Can't wait for the inpiration! :)'Despite having seldomly worked anywhere with an even remotely strict dress code (even though I work in administration), workwear is something I feel I 'know' about or can at least make suggestions on in confidence. Although I tend to wear jeans and a t-shirt for work and make little effort, office 'smart chic' is one of my favourite looks and I'm a huge fan of power dressing (I look forward to the day when it's actually appropriate for me to wear a suit). The following aren't really examples of that as such, but of smart-casual looks I've worn in the past that I think would make appropriate workwear...![]()
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Images © Big Fat Betty (Above) and New Look (Left) | Notice a theme? In all bar one I'm wearing a cardigan or blazer. It's not really common to have bare arms (or not entirely) in my line of work. Asides from the added warmth for this time of year, adding a cardigan or blazer means that you can wear items that you wouldn't normally wear to work (a vest top, for example), thus giving you more options without having an 'exclusive' work wardrobe. I've also pieced together an outfit from my favourite store, New Look; items #1 and #3 are available in other colours and the shoes (#5) are also available in black.#1 Inspire Black Sleeveless Wrap Top, £14.99 (Sizes 18-28)#2 Inspire 31in Black PVL Tailored Trousers, £19.99 (Sizes 18-32)#3 Inspire Bright Red Waffle Textured Blazer, £17.24 (Sizes 18-28)#4 Gold Chain Sleek Torque Necklace, £5.99#5 Extra Wide Fit Dark Red Patent Toe Chain Trim Court Shoes, £22.99 (Sizes 3-8) NB: Prices as displayed online on 10 December 2013 Don't forget to check out the rest of the OMCZ crew:Stephanie - http://www.seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.ukLeah - http://www.justmeleah.blogspot.co.ukMary - http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.ptBecky - http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.comRachel - http://www.adressisforlife.comNatalie - http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.ukNikki - http://www.nattynikki.blogspot.co.ukRebs - http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.ukVerena - http://aplussizefashionobsession.blogspot.deBeka - http://bekasstuffystuff.blogspot.comRebecca - http://theplussideofme.comHollie - http://www.prettybigbutterflies.comSabina - http://www.femmefatalexsabina.blogspot.deKatt - http://acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.ukMookie - http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.ukErin - http://erinslittlebigcorner.blogspot.co.ukDebz - http://www.wannabeprincess.co.uk
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December 21, 2013, 4:13 am
Ahh I'm so enjoying taking part in all of these challenges, I hope you're enjoying reading them too. December's theme is 'Christmas/Ugly Jumper Party!' Sadly I don't have a Christmas jumper (or an ugly one) and I'm brassic, so instead I'm going to share with you the festive items that I would buy - a sort of wishlist!I've got a huge obsession with scented candles at the moment and Yankee Candles are the most popular, for good reason! I've only had one before which was a sweet mango scent and was a present from a friend, but I also recently won a competition with Fashion World and the prize was a Yankee Candle! I can't wait for it to arrive.Speaking of scents, I'm also a huge fan of Lush Cosmetics, especially the Snow Fairy Shower Gel and Rock Star Soap! I'm hoping a friend can pick up some sale bargains for me after Christmas, as I won't be near a store to investigate.I'll hopefully have one or two more posts before/over Christmas, but just in case I forget, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! I arrived at my Dad's yesterday and I'm really excited for Christmas Day. We're having roast lamb and my Dad makes the most amazing trifle that I look forward to every year (it's my favourite). Hopefully I might get a glass or two of Baileys as well ;)#1 New Look Inspire Red Ho Ho Ho Christmas Jumper, £22.99 (Sold Out)#2 Yankee Candle Large Jar Candle in Snowflake Cookie, £19.99#3 Black Heart Creatives Christmas Pudding Necklace, was £15.00 now £7.50#4 Lush Cosmetics Stardust Gift Box, £25.95NB: Prices as displayed online on 20 December 2013Images © their respective brands Don't forget to check out the rest of the JABC crew:Steph – http://seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.ukKaye – http://polishedcurves.comNaomi – http://www.diamondsnpearls.co.ukVictoria – http://www.thecurvedopinion.com
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December 22, 2013, 8:08 am
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All Images © Curvissa | Hi folks! I hope
you're all enjoying the festive season and are ready for the big day. I expect a lot of you are partied out with Christmas do's already, or perhaps yours is still to come; either way, there's still New Year's Eve to look forward to! If you haven't picked that all important outfit yet, fashion brand Curvissa may be able to help; they've recently revealed the secrets of the office Christmas party via their research and a set of party stereotypes. Head on over to their site and see if you can spot yourself, or someone you know! I know I can recognise a few, thinking back to parties from the past (there's always a #2 about!).Unfortunately Christmas do's aren't much of a thing for me now as I currently work part-time whilst studying and, although the office has a small gathering, it's usually when I'm working as I do the evening shift. Still, I did wear some reindeer antlers on my last shift before Christmas as my festive contribution!According to the research results, the majority of Londoners (22%) take 15-30 minutes to get ready for their Christmas party...not me, if you include a shower I'm in the region of 60-90 minutes, and even then I still seem to be waiting for my friends!A whopping 67% of women pay attention to what othersare wearing at their Christmas party, and 97% don't regret wearing something festive themselves. It's evident from this that fashion plays a key part in Christmas parties
and it's a great reason to get glammed up (I miss this a lot!). As I love any excuse to shop, I took a look to see which of Curvissa's Christmas party stereotypesI match up with. I think my closest match is #4 The Intern. I have, for Christmas do's past, spent a lot of time finding a dress and matching it with heels, accessories and make-up! I'm no less of a shopaholic now and would be unlikely to wear 'something from the wardrobe' for a party. With this in mind, I headed over to Curvissa's website to show you what I would've worn to a Christmas do this year...![]()
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December 25, 2013, 5:29 am
Merry Christmas! On Saturday 30 November I attended the Definition of Size Art Fundraiser, hosted by my good friend Anita Bellamy (of Plus Confidence in You) (see Part 1 here). It was a fantastic event! As a supporter/volunteer for the day I arrived early and helped to set up and generally flitted about throughout the day, checking people in (all technical like) and selling raffle tickets along with the other volunteers. Speaking of the raffle, there were so many fantastic prizes! Thank you to everyone that donated items and bought tickets, it gave a huge boost to the fundraising. I bought some tickets myself and was very lucky to win a couple of items, though sadly not any of the clothing prizes I was lusting after! I'm not sure how much we raised in total, but I was personally overwhelmed by people's generosity.
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I am looking forward to meeting with Anita and the other volunteers early in the New Year to start planning the main exhibition.
To find out more about the project visit Anita's website. Keep an eye on the Facebook group, page and Twitter for future updates!
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Happy New Year everyone! I'm a bit late with posting this as it was meant to go live on 1 January...oops! Anyway. I was quite surprised when Steph told me it was my turn, following the previous order, to pick the challenge for this OMCZ. We've redrawn for the New Year and this opportunity has timed itself perfectly for me, as I've just bought an item of clothing that is OMCZ. So, this challenge is 'Pretty Pencils' and goes a little something like this: 'I absolutely love pencil skirts but I've never had the confidence to wear them, what with the VBO and all that jazz. However, I've just ordered a beauty and I could really do with that push in order to wear it...let me see all you lovely ladies rocking your pencil skirts, get those pins out and share your style tips (as I also have no idea what to wear with the damn thing)!' (I've also bought three polkadot pencil skirts from Everything £5 since).I recently purchased the Anna Scholz for Simply Be Jewel Print Pencil Skirt (£24.00, Sizes 14-32) as I fell in love with the print as soon as I saw it. I absolutely love pencil skirts but don't wear them due to fear of the VBO and not knowing how to style them; normally this would put me off making a purchase, but at the time there was an offer on the Anna Scholz for Simply Be range to save £20.00 when you purchased two items...so Michaela (of Cardiffornia Gurl) and I teamed up, making the skirt an even more bargainous £14.00 each. I was a bit worried about the fit, but when it arrived I noticed the very discreet elasticated sections in the waistline which put my mind at ease; I think this is a very clever idea, as I'm not keen on waistlines that are fully or half elasticated and in this case it would've been really noticable.![]()
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January 5, 2014, 12:23 pm
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Hello lovelies! I've been looking forward to writing the next assignment for Love EVERY Body. Our second assignment focuses on our head, face, hair, etc: 'What do you like about your face and hair? Is there anything you wish you could change? What do people compliment you on? Have you got twinkly, mischief-filled eyes, a smile warm enough to melt an iceberg or a voice that'd make angels jealous? Maybe you have adorable dimples or freckles. Perhaps you have great teeth or a head of hair so glorious you turn heads wherever you go. If you're not happy with the physical aspects of this area, think about all the amazing things which go on above the neck - assuming you have all your senses you've got eyes to see with, ears to hear with, a nose to smell with and a mouth to speak/eat/kiss with. There's a lot to love there.Above all else (and to state the obvious) our heads contain our brains, the thing which make us wonderfully, individually US.'
I have very mixed views on everything above my neckline, which have changed over time. As I mentioned in my letter to my body, as a child 'I was bullied for my turned-up nose (Miss Piggy, I was called), thick hair (Macy Gray) and weight (Kelly Osbourne, which I think was a weight/hair combo)'. Throughout my life I've also been affected by negative comments about my skin (acne and resulting scarring) and facial hair. Putting that all to one side for the moment, I generally like my face and hair and I'm a lot happier with it than I used to be.![]()
Image © Big Fat Betty | Having thick hair can sometimes be a bit of a nightmare (thank you Tangle Teezer) but generally it's a blessing. It's been through Hell and back with bleach and dyes yet still remains strong and I can have fashionably 'big hair' with ease. I like having longer hair and it's grown a lot over the past couple of years.
I love my eyes and think they're my best feature; they're a beautiful shade of blue and I have long eyelashes. I also like my lips; no lip plumper required! I used to hate my nose (primarily because I was bullied about it) but now I don't mind it and people seem to think it's cute. I like my pale skin tone although I'm still learning to love my moles and scars.
Unfortunately I don't think it's possible to love my facial hair and it continues to make me feel incredibly self-conscious. I have to regularly shave my chin to get rid of the thick dark hairs, but doing so can give me spots and leaves me with stubble; catch 22. The 'sideburns' aren't as bad as they used to be and that lip hair is becoming increasingly noticeable (thanks to a Beautician pointing it out). Honestly, if cost wasn't an issue, I'd have laser treatment.
My acne has improved significantly over the years and I'm not as bothered about the scarring as I once was, though I admit I often wish my skin was as 'flawless' as it appears with a good layer of foundation. I'm gradually becoming more accepting of it, but there's room for improvement.
My teeth are disgusting, but I have myself to blame for that as I haven't looked after them very well. However, I am thankful to have a full set of teeth, a nice smile and dimples. Last but not least, I'm grateful to have all my senses and hope that I never lose them.
You can find links to the other bloggers taking part at the bottom of Leah's post here or check out the #LoveEVERYBody hashtag on Twitter.
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January 12, 2014, 7:23 am
Many of you have probably seen me talking about and sharing a new event via social media; namely #fatchatuk. The first meet-up was held on Saturday 11 January in North London and was a great success, with a total of 10 participants. Although I'm arranging the meet-ups and will be using 'I' a lot in this post, I want to make it clear that #fatchatuk isn't 'mine; it's for everyone and I want everybody to feel that they are an equal part of it as, after all, it would be nothing if it weren't for the people that participate. I'd also like to acknowledge that this is by no means an original idea, it came from Sarah's plus size coffee meet-ups held in 2013; I enjoyed them so much that they inspired me to start #fatchatuk.
We met at the Resource Cafe on Holloway Road; I chose this venue primarily as it had a spacious and modern look and is also run by a charity. I thought that from an ethical perspective it would be positive to hold the meet-up in a small/charitable business, and also thought it unlikely that there would be enough space elsewhere (particularly on a Saturday). Unfortunately there was a signal failure on the Piccadilly Line causing delays for many, including myself. A few people arrived before me and had been told by the venue that we were welcome to move the tables around to suit and that there was more space in the back of the venue if we needed it, which was where the ladies had chosen to sit. It couldn't have been a better venue for us; it was quiet and although we didn't have an exclusive space, there was nobody else sitting in the back area of the venue. There was disabled access throughout as well as suitable toilet facilities, another plus. Last but not least, the customer service was excellent and the prices very reasonable. The venue also serves food (although we didn't eat on this occasion) and I may have scoffed a muffin the second I sat down!
Hopefully I wasn't too repetitive as I explained the idea behind #fatchatuk, which is that it is a safe environment for fat and fat-friendly types to meet and have an enjoyable afternoon discussing fashion, news, activism and more. All are welcome irrespective of size, gender, etc. I also discussed with the group the suitability of the venue/location and timing, which I think everyone was content with; it was agreed to hold the next meet-up at the same venue in a month's time (see the end of the post for further information).
The conversation flowed naturally and we discussed many topics, both relating to fat experience and more general discussion. There was also a bit of fashion admiration going on; expect to leave the meet-up wanting to purchase at least one item!
There is one more thing I'd like to mention before I finish this post, which is that I know that not everyone is comfortable with the term 'fat'. You do not have to describe or define yourself as fat in order to attend #fatchatuk, but please respect the fact that there will be people attending that use the word fat in a positive way. Nobody is going to call you fat, encourage you to use it or discourage you from using other words, but it may be used in general conversation and self-reference (and occasionally between individuals when they both are aware that each person is comfortable with being referred to as fat).
Last but not least, the next meet-up is being held on Saturday 8 February from 11:00am at The Resource Cafe, 365 Holloway Road, London, N7 6PA. For more information please see the Facebook event page or e-mail info@bigfatbetty.com.
PS: If you would like to be notified of future #fatchatuk events and updates via e-mail, please send an e-mail to info@bigfatbetty.com with the subject '#fatchatuk'.
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January 15, 2014, 2:35 pm
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January 15, 2014, 2:59 pm
Hold on to your knickers before they get in a twist and brace yourselves for my honest opinion of the ongoing 'bloggers and brands' saga and some of the responses to it. There's been a lot of discussions, blog posts and other such things around this topic over the past few months; more recently over the approach of a certain brand asking plus-size bloggers to contribute to their blog (for free). I'm not going to discuss the ins-and-outs of said request as most of you are probably familiar with it; if you're not (or otherwise want to read more about it) I'd recommend checking out Big Fashionista's post here which addresses some of the issues.
Anyway, I digress. There have been many mentions about bloggers only being interested in brands, payment, freebies and whatever else; because 'someone out there' decided that we're not allowed to operate in even remotely similar means to any normal business these 'interests' are viewed by some as a negative. This narrow-minded opinion that all bloggers are part of some homogeneous collective irritates me somewhat. However, it doesn't irritate me nearly as much as comments I have read that have implied that bloggers are stupid and/or naive to accept certain terms (writing for free, for example). Okay so none of this is personal and I haven't received any remarks aimed directly at me, but you may as well replace 'bloggers are' with 'I am' in the majority of cases where such comments can relate.
So in the interest of clarity, FYI-ness and generally getting things off my chest...
1) I am running a business. I may not write everything (like this post) from a business perspective but I am registered as self-employed. If I want to and I am able to earn money then I have every right to do so. Nobody has the right to dictate to anyone how they earn a living. I invest in my blog financially and I am sure that nobody would disagree with me at the very least recouping that investment through paid work (yeah, blog designs and hosting cost money y'know, they're not paid in internet fluff).
2) I am not stupid or naive. You have every right to have a different opinion or disagree with someone, but you do not have the right to imply that I am somehow wrong by doing it. I am a qualified administrator and by the end of this academic year will also be a graduate; I am by no means stupid. I have experience of working with national organisations and managing multi-agency events and meetings. Basically what I am trying to say is that if I choose to do something, I do so fully understanding what it is that I have committed to.
3) I am not 'all about the brands'. The sponsored posts and reviews of gifted items that I have done are few in comparison to my overall post count. I only undertake 'work' that is relevant to my blog and that I think my readers will find interesting/useful. Whilst my blog is a business, it is primarily a hobby and I do not rely on it as a source of income (although if I did, there's nothing wrong with that). At the end of the day if you don't like it, don't read it.
4) I am not responsible for maintaining the earnings of other bloggers. I've read on more than one occasion comments about people working for free meaning essentially that brands won't pay anyone for anything and that doing so is somehow 'undermining' the 'community'. Last time I checked I wasn't responsible for anyone's business strategy, pay check, blogging ethics or anything of the sort. If blogging isn't working out for you as a full-time means of income then I am genuinely sorry to hear that, but it isn't my fault.
5) I take the fact that anyone wants to work with me as a compliment, whether they're paying me in money or not. At the end of the day, if I couldn't write to some sort of reasonable standard I don't think it would be wrong to presume that brands wouldn't want to work with me.Basically what I'm trying to say is that there's a whole load of opinions out there and people are entitled to have their own thoughts, but what is NOT okay is making mass presumptions about other people, their decisions and/or dismissing other people's opinions/decisions because they don't match yours. Period.
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January 20, 2014, 12:45 pm
Some of you may know that I upgraded to the Samsung Galaxy S4 on Three a few months ago. Okay, more than a few months ago, it was June 2013! I'd still been using my iPhone 4 up until recently; whilst occasionly making use of the Samsung's superior camera I just couldn't bring myself to switch my SIM over. So, when Three contacted me recently asking if I'd like to review some accessories I thought it'd be a great opportunity to bling up my Samsung and convince myself to start using it on a permanent basis. I was given a few options and chose this pink glittery case, which was gifted to me by Three, along with some photographic lenses (a fisheye lens and 2-in-1 macro and wide angle lens). Gotta be honest, I'm not great with new technology these days and I didn't even know what fisheye meant...Image © Big Fat Betty ([Top] The Lenses and Case, [Bottom] The Lens Instructions) | The lenses are magnetic so they're pretty easy to use; if the area around your camera lens isn't metal they come with a small ring that you can stick on to the phone to attach the lenses to. That's literally all you have to do! There are instructions although they seem to have been translated quite poorly into English, but they're accurate enough to get the gist of what to do.
Image © Big Fat Betty ([Top] Original, [Bottom] Wide Angle) | Please excuse my messy desk/dressing table.This is not the greatest of examples but it hasn't really been the best weather for outside photographs, and you all know what I'm like with forward planning by now! These were taken with the Samsung using the corresponding lenses, no other editing has been done (asides from resizing). I think the wide angle and possibly the fisheye lens also will be great for attending events and really capturing the atmosphere; I often find myself having to squeeze people/things in and/or take multiple photos!
I'm looking forward to experimenting more with the lenses and hopefully getting some better photos for the blog whilst I'm at it. I've also recently bought a tripod for my compact camera; as much as I love 'selfies' they're not really great for outfit shots! ...oh, the case! The case is sturdy, fits really well and just clips on without feeling like it's going to fall off; I love that it's glittery but it's 'smooth' and protected so it won't wear off. Fab, basically!
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January 31, 2014, 10:34 am
Hi folks! I'm incredibly behind with this blogging lark, so much so that I even forgot to schedule this post for this morning despite chatting about it this week. Anyway. I was chatting to Rachel (of A Dress is for Life) about my purchases from Simply Be and mentioned that I picked up the Velour Stud Dress (Sizes 12-32, £20.00) in the sale for £20.00 (reduced from £50.00). Rachel said that she had the dress too and was going to do a blog post on it, and asked if I'd like to join her. I wore this dress out last weekend and popped a photo on Instagram, at which point I found out that Leah (of Just Me, Leah) also had the dress and asked if she'd like to blog it with us.
So here we are; Triple Velvet! Yes you're right, that is the name of a toilet roll ;) I thought it was funny...![]()
The photos aren't that great, sorry, and I don't think they do the dress justice. It has a slight skater-like look to it; Rachel and Leah have done a far better job with their photos! It's very comfortable and I love the gold and silver stud detail on the sleeves.
Personally I'm not overly bothered about visible bra straps (so long as they colour co-ordinate), but if you are you could wear a clear strap or strapless bra. I like this dress a lot and will wear it again but I don't think I would've bought it full price, it just hasn't got that 'wow' factor I'd expect from a £50.00 dress, although it's very good quality and definitely a bargain at the sale price of £20.00 (and it's still available).I tried a statement necklace but there was just too much going on with the sleeve detail, so I opted instead for my custom necklace from Black Heart Creatives (a three-line custom necklace in glitter acrylic is £25.00 + P&P). My New Lew Wide Fit Black Suedette Low Wedges (Sizes 4-7, £14.99) were a perfect match due to the similar texture.
This dress would've looked great with a faux leather biker jacket (or denim if that's your style, I don't fancy it personally) but I didn't particularly fancy freezing to death! I'm looking forward to some velvet biker chic in the warmer months though.
Don't forget to check out Rachel and Leah's post to see how they styled this dress (and of course it's always useful to see dresses on different shapes and sizes).
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February 11, 2014, 8:36 am
Hello you lovely lot! Yes, I'm still alive and still blogging. I've been a bit slack, I know, maybe more on that later. But for now I have some interesting stuff for those of you that blog or are maybe interested in blogging; that is, blog challenges. There are many blog challenges about and new ones cropping up all the time. I personally love blog challenges as it gives me inspiration, not only to blog myself and try new/different things, but also from reading other people's posts; it's great to see the same 'theme' from different angles. I personally take part in three challenges; Just Another Blogger Challenge (JABC), Love EVERY Body (LEB) and Outside My Comfort Zone (OMCZ).So anyway, I did a little bit of scouting with the 'psbloggers' crew (that's the hashtag for plus size bloggers, in case anyone is wondering what I'm talking about) so that I could share with you some of the blog challenges that are currently accepting new participants...so, here they are (in alphabetical order)!Challenge Title: 99p Dress Challenge Organiser: Wannabe PrincessContact: debz@wannabeprincess.co.ukExample: This is a one-off challenge for March featuring the Yours Clothing 99p dresses Challenge Title: I Feel Good! Organiser: The Curved OpinionContact: thecurvedopinion@gmail.comExample: Here's an example from The Curved OpinionChallenge Title: Just Add ColourOrganiser:A Touch of SparkleContact:emmaatos@hotmail.comExample:This is a new challenge. Here is an explanation from A Touch of Sparkle Challenge Title: Magnificent 7thOrganiser: Beth TinkerbellContact:tinkerbellandthelostgirls@hotmail.co.ukExample: Here's an example from MissKathryn's MissTakesIf you have a blogger challenge that is accepting new participants and would like to be included in this list, please leave a comment with the relevant details or e-mail me at info@bigfatbetty.com. This post was last updated on 11/02/14 at 16:30
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February 11, 2014, 8:56 am
Images © Mookie (of Mookie's Life), L-R: Charlotte (of Black Heart Creatives), me and Mookie (of Mookie's Life); Carmen, Mookie (of Mookie's Life) and I; Miranda (Owner/Founder of Club Indulge) and Carmen, Mookie (of Mookie's Life), Miranda (Owner/Founder of Club Indulge), Leah (of Just Me Leah) and Debz (of Wannabee Princess) | I am rather late with writing about this (and a lot of other things), oops! On Saturday 14 December I attended the Plus Size Christmas Market in North London, organised by
Club Indulge. It was held at the 3 Oceans in North Finchley which was a lovely venue; the market was in the basement and there was a bar upstairs on the ground floor.
Entry to the event was £2 per person (with free mince pies and other snacks) and I paid £10 to have a stall, which went towards the cost of hiring the venue. I had a very generously sized table and Miranda (Owner/Founder of Club Indulge) also very kindly lent me a clothes rail. I'd brought so much with me though that I filled the space with ease!
After flitting about and generally getting in the way, I set up next to Mookie (of Mookie's Life) and Carmen. These lovely ladies kept me company throughout the afternoon along with Mookie's partner. Leah (of Just Me Leah) and her partner who joined us later on. Debz (of Wannabee Princess) also popped in for a browse and I also caught up with Anita Bellamy (of Plus Confidence in You) who was selling some lovely items of clothing.
Although there weren't masses of people selling items like you'd see at a car boot (for example), there was a great selection and plenty to be swapped and/or sold. In addition to the plus size ladies that had brought their clothing and accessories to pass on, there was also new lingerie, jewellery (shout out to the awesome Black Heart Creatives!) and a range of beauty treatments available. There was also a Costa just across the road, bonus!
Unfortunately the market wasn't very well attended, I don't know the exact numbers but I'm guessing I saw about 10 people max who didn't have stalls/were with a friend who had a stall. I only sold a couple of items but at least covered my costs for the day, which I know many did not and this can be off-putting to people to try again.
I did still enjoy myself and I'm glad that I went, but I had thought that this would have been of interest to a lot of people so I am still a little puzzled as to why people didn't attend. Not anyone's fault at all, these things can't be helped and we (or rather the people that put on these great events) can only keep trying.
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February 12, 2014, 4:00 am
Oops, I missed #25! Anyhow. This challenge is 'Looking Back' and was chosen by Stephanie (of Seeing Spots) who wrote: 'My theme is looking back and I’d like us to all look back over the last 12 months since the challenge started and see how we have changed.'12 months ago is probably when I started wearing things I wouldn't normally wear, although I certainly wasn't as confident or as comfortable as I am now. There was a lot of new and interesting things going on in my life; such as my test shoot with Models of Diversity and being an Official Blogger for the first British Plus Size Fashion Weekend. Looking back, although the physical changes are probably only minor (hello longer, bright pink hair), mentally, in terms of body positivity, I have grown a lot and mostly for the better.
Images © Big Fat Betty, L-R: [Top] One of my first nights out with bare arms (March 2013) and My first bodycon (May 2013), [Bottom] A happier and 'pinkier' me (January 2014) | It's less than 12 months ago that I wore my first bodycon dress, and only recent (thanks to OMCZ) that I wore my first pencil skirt. I still have some body confidence issues, but I'm taking things one step at a time and blog challenges like this are a big part of that.Don't forget to check out the rest of the OMCZ crew (or search #OMCZ on Twitter):Natalie - http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk
Nikki - http://www.nattynikki.comStephanie - http://www.seeingspots.co.ukBecky - http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.comMary - http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.ptHollie - http://www.prettybigbutterflies.comErin - http://erinslittlebigcorner.blogspot.co.ukDebz - http://www.wannabeprincess.co.ukBecca - http://thegirlwiththeplait.blogspot.co.ukRebs - http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.ukKatt - http://acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.ukLeah - http://www.justmeleah.blogspot.co.ukMookie - http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.ukDanielle - http://www.daniellerharris.comBeverley - http://www.thecurvyword.comSam - http://fattyboomtatty.blogspot.co.ukGillian - http://www.weegillie.comSarah - http://plussizeproud.wordpress.com
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February 23, 2014, 10:29 am
Whoopsie, looks like I missed January's Just Another Blogging Challenge theme. Anyway, February's is 'Love is in the Air', it being Valentine's Day and all that jazz.
I've never been massively into Valentine's Day, nor am I against it. Yes I know it's corporate pocket lining nonsense but it's still, well, nice. Anyway, I'm not in a relationship so it's not of particular interest from that point of view...so, where else can I go with this theme? Some heart themed plus size fashion perhaps... #1 New Look Inspire Monochrome Heart Print Sleeveless Shirt (Sizes 18-26, White or Navy), £17.99 #2 Drown Soda True Love Double Heart Necklace, £8.99-£11.99#3 Asos Curve Skater Dress in Cupid Heart Print (Sizes 18-28), £22.00#4 AX Paris Heart Print Swing Dress from Simply Be (Sizes 12-30), £35.0
Don't forget to check out the rest of the JABC crew (or search #JABC on Twitter):
Steph – http://www.seeingspots.co.ukKaye – http://polishedcurves.comNaomi – http://www.diamondsnpearls.co.ukVictoria – http://www.thecurvedopinion.comEm – http://terribletumbles.blogspot.co.ukBeka - http://thegirlwiththeplait.blogspot.co.ukGemma – http://www.pinkgemmaplus.blogspot.co.ukAlex - http://www.wearnouvellevague.comKatt – http://www.acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.ukToni - http://www.theleftofperfect.blogspot.co.ukAbi - http://aisforabi.blogspot.co.uk
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February 24, 2014, 1:13 pm
Hi folks. I decided it’s time to have a clearout of the ol’ wardrobe (slash floor/dining room table-drobe), so I have a selection of clothing in sizes 18-26UK for your perusal as well as a pair of size 7EEE shoes.Prices include P&P in the UK (£2 discount for each additional item) and I am willing to post internationally for an additional fee. Payment is to be made by PayPal to info@bigfatbetty.com. Measurements are available on request. Please note that I am a smoker (though all items are clean and I have not previously had any issues with smoke odour)Last updated 24/02/14 at 21:00SECTION 1: DRESSES (SIZES 18-24)Polkadot dress, size 18 (I think this may be a US18, I can just about squeeze into it at a size 22), £10![]()
BNWT F21 pink dress, size 2X, £9BNWT F&F Tesco dress, size 20, blue leopard print with black side panels, £7Dorothy Perkins animal print dress, size 22Monsoon black evening dress #1, size 22, £15Next gold brocade dress, size 22, £10 Monsoon black evening dress #2, size 22, £15New Look black maxi dress, size 22, £7BNWT AX Paris bodycon dress, size 24, purchased for £23, £15(I sized up and the same dress in a different print, in a size 24, fits me at a 22)SECTION 2: SKIRTS (SIZE 3X)![]()
F21 neon-like yellow leopard print pencil skirt, size 3X, £10SECTION 3: TROUSERS (SIZE 24-26)New Look burgundy-ish jeans (not sure if they are skinny or straight leg), size 24, £8![]()
New Look skinny high waisted red jeans, size 24, £10 New Look animal print trousers, size 26 (though I wore these baggy style as a size 24), £6SECTION 4: TOPS (SIZES 22-24)Simply Be cat print top, size 22, £6Evans jeweled wing top, size 22/24, £62 x size 24 white shirts from George, £5 (for both)Yours size 24 sequin top (maybe dress), £7SECTION 5: SHOES (SIZE 7EEE)BNIB cushion-walk black shoes, size 7EEE, £15
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